


Crazy in Love

by Jo (gida_e)



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Childhood Friends to Lovers, Eventual Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, idk this was inspired by the destroyer vid lmao
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-04-23 10:20:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14330379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gida_e/pseuds/Jo
Summary: Shin Hoseok, or as he preferred to be called, Wonho and Yoo Kihyun has always been friends, even if Wonho was portrayed as a bad boy and Kihyun as a nerd, that never was an obstacle for their friendship, but what if one has been having feelings for the other for a really long time





	1. 一

Wonho has known Kihyun since he could remember, all the memories he has, Kihyun was in them. A birthday party? Kihyun was in it. A trip outside of the country? Kihyun was part of it. Hell, even in family dinners Wonho had to go, Kihyun was with him. In a few words, Kihyun was everything Wonho knew. They were together even in school, from infant school to high school. Although a few things changed through high school they stayed together till college.

Even if Wonho turned into your typical bad boy through high school and Kihyun stayed in the nerdy side, they didn’t leave each other. Sometimes Kihyun would be worried that he would ruin Wonho’s reputation, telling him to leave him behind, to go out with his other group of friends. Wonho would answer him that he didn’t need them; they didn’t matter as much as Kihyun.

Soon enough, they both left for college and without knowing they applied to the same one and not so surprisingly, the two of them got accepted in it. The day they had to leave, Wonho was expectant, thinking about how cool it would be to study in the same college as your _best friend_.

Somewhere along the way, it started to have a bittersweet taste for Wonho to call Kihyun his _best friend,_ he didn’t actually the feeling of it, since he never developed any feelings to any of his friends before, so he pushed all the growing feelings he got when he was around Kihyun, thinking it could only be _brotherly love,_ as he tried to convince himself.

When the older found out they wouldn’t be sharing a dorm he felt something inside his chest, something he didn’t really liked, _friendly jealousy,_ he thought. He knew it was something else, but Wonho couldn’t put his mind of it, so he let it slip.

The time Kihyun arrived talking about his roommate was when Wonho discovered, _he was in love with Kihyun,_ he has been in love with his best friend for years now. He wouldn’t let the younger know it though. No, he couldn’t let his friendship be ruined by some _stupid_ feelings, he has been living with them for a long time now, it’s not like he couldn’t do it now, right? But oh boy, how wrong he was.


	2. 两

Ever since Kihyun started college he began to feel more... free. He felt as if no matter how he showed himself to people, people would accept him. Well, it did came with the fact that he was studying photography, an art, which you never really know who the real weirdo there. But he also started to feel as if Wonho was a little bit distant from him, which was something he didin' t really understand, since they have been  _best friends_ for years now.

At some point he thought he developed feelings for his best friend, but that was just a  _crazy_ thought, he could  _not_ be in love with his best friend, right? Plus he didn't really have any experience when it came to feelings matters, so it could be just the thought of someone caring for him other than his family what he liked, the comfort came from having he could go to whatever happened was what he probably liked, so he never voiced it, he never said anything related to his feelings, not for a girl nor boy, he wanted to show himself as a neutral to others, as a neutral to Wonho.

Kihyun had to watch Wonho go through a lot of... breakups, not heartaches since none of them really hurt his feelings. In the other hand, Kihyun did got his heart broken multiple times by peoplen who only grew close to him so later they could say they were friends with the one and only Wonho, but when the older found that out he would stop talking with that person, not really doing something bad, since he didn't have the heart to do so, he would just start ignoring them and people around him would follow. It was commonly known that no one could hurt Wonho's _precious_ Yoo Kihyun.

 Kihyun got the urge to ask Wonho on why he protected him that much, but most of the times would forget about doing it or would panic over Wonho's answer.  _What if he did it out of pity. It was the most reasonable answer on why Shin Hoseok would stay with Yoo Kihyun._

_"_ Hey, Ki." Wonho waved his hand in front of Kihyun's face, "hey, are you okay?"

 "Uh, y-yes... Yes, I'm okay," he put his eyes on the older man in front of him to quickly move them away to the object beside him. "Why are you still my friend? I mean, we're in college now, you could go with the frat people and be with your own group?"

"Okay first of all, what do you mean my own group?  _You_ are my own group, besides, i've been with you this whole time because..."  ** _Because i'm crazy in love with you.._** "you're my best friend... idiot."

For a split second, Kihyun wished to hear that Wonho stayed with him for another reasons, for a way bigger reason than being his best friend, not really sure what he actually wanted to hear, he smiled at the older man. "You're right... we're the bestest of friends."

Hearing that, Wonho felt something inside his chest break, although he knew he made that himself. He knew he could've confessed multiple times before, but he couldn't tell those words out loud in front of KIhyun, in fear of losing the one he truly loved, the one he has devoted himself to long ago. He couldn't lose his best friend, the one he claims is the love of his life, that thought alone made him completely crazy.

_******"Yeah... the bestest of friends"** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i couldn't contain myself lmao


	3. 三

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter i will develop the plot a bit more i promise akdfas. and if someone wants to set a mood while reading this chapter, i highly recommend listening to the lesbian queen, hayley kiyoko, sleepover.

 

 

> _«You wanna be friends forever, I can think of something better.»_

"Hey Wonho," as soon as those words left Kihyun's mouth, Wonho looked his way, curious to know why he was being called by the other male. _W_ _ow, i  really_ love _hearing my name from his lips,_ he thought. "Yes Ki?" He murmured, Kihyun got up from his seat so he could be face to face to Wonho, a distance really questionable for two persons who called each other best friends.

"How does it feel to be in love?" The older knew he shouldn't be heartbroken by the question, but he couldn't help it. He could assume this two ways: 1. Kihyun wasn't in love with him or 2. Kihyun was in love but  _with another person_ , and he didn't know which was worse. "It depends," he shrugged, "why?"

 "I don't really know why i asked," Kihyun said letting out a deep breath. "I guess i just want to experience that soon." 

"Hey," Wonho grabbed his friend's shoulder. "It could come sooner than you think, just.. don't rush things and please, don't look too far because what you want can be right in front of you." With that said, Kihyun let out a laugh, "Who? You? Please, we're just friends... _best friends._ "

Those words made Wonho's heart break a little, he knew he wasn't as obvious as he wanted to be, so he could be noticed, but he couldn't just say it out loud. He was afraid, terrified even, not wanting to lose his  **best friend** over some stupid feelings that haven't gone away since first year of highschool. "Yes, the best of friends. Forever even"

>  
> 
> _«You will never understand, even when you hold my hand.»_

Everytime he was nervous, Wonho had this one habit of grabbing people's hand, more specifically, Kihyun's hand. It slowly started to get into Kihyun's habits, but not just with anyone he was close to, his habit developed just with Wonho, he would calm down everytime the older man was there to grab his hand and if he could not be present, Kihyun would just put together his two hands, not wanting to grab any other person's hand.

Wonho knew about Kihyun's developed habit, but he didn't really know it was exclusively for him and only him. When he found out about this, all the time it happened he would feel this sparkle, he could feel all of this explosions in his chest, hoping the thing was mutual, but he could only hope. Knowing probably that Kihyun wouldn't understand what he was feeling.

 

> _«Even when you're next to me i_ _t's not the way I'm picturing»_

 Everyone around Wonho knew he would space out, although no one knew the exact reason why, so people would just let him just when the situtation didn't required totally attention from him. Until one eventful day, Kihyun was a little stressed and all he wanted was to be heard, even more by his best friend.

"Wonho," he waved his hand in front of his friend's face. "Wonho," his tone was a bit louder. "Hoseok!" He ended up screaming, which was succesful since it strartled his friends gaining whole attention. "Can you please pay attention to me? Pretty please? Could you just not think of something else when you're right next to me?"

"Yeah, sorry i was... uh."  _You know, picturing both of us making out, pretty chill, huh?_ he thought. "Thinking about school work."

"Does it mean i can have your complete attention now?"

 _You always have my complete attention, tho._ "Yes, my attention is completely yours." _Just like my heart._


	4. 四

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter will be completely Kihyun focused with a tiny bit of a Wonho focused part, so i hope you look forward it! also, i listened to an angst playlist while writing this so i highly recommend listening to one if you want to set the mood! i hope this chapter is for your enjoyment! feedback is highly appreciated

Kihyun always remembered Wonho as this cool person, who attracted many people. It didn't matter the age, it didn't matter the popularity of the person, nothing of it matter, every person that came across Wonho's path, would be one way or another attracted to him and Kihyun wasn't any different. Ever since he met Wonho he felt this kind of connection to him, some kind of attraction not even himself could explain. And at some point he started to feel jealousy. He felt jealous that his best friend was the one getting all the attention, getting all type of care and he was left in the dust. As years passed, he started to noticed that despite all of the attention Wonho received, he was Wonho's number one priority. Everytime both of them fell and people only put their worriedness towards Wonho, he would ignore all kind of questions and turn into Kihyun, asking if he hurt himself anywhere, if he had some kind of scratch, if he needed a band-aid although the impact wasn't as hard for a band-aid. At some point all of the jealousy turned into uncertainty; he felt like he was unworthy for Wonho, he felt like he was holding Wonho back.

With all of his doubts and all of his insecurities he felt as if he drove people away, but Wonho always there to prove him wrong, always there to tell him he was the only one worthy to be with, the only one who understood him inside out. Everytime Wonho would tell him this, he would feel some kind of a bubbly feeling inside his chest, never understanding as to why he would, since Wonho was only his best friend, so he pushed it aside never paying attention to it. Somewhere along the way, Kihyun forgot all kind of weird feelings he got for Wonho, normalizing it. It started to irk him when he started to feel annoyance when he saw girls flirting with Wonho and him smiling back at them. Kihyun thought it was the old kind of jealousy back, thinking some part of him just envied Wonho for always having attention from pretty girls, so he just brushed it off. But how wrong he was.

By the time college arrived he was thrilled to share this years with his best friend, again. He honestly didn't know what he would do if Wonho wasn't by his side, so when he found out he didn't share a room with his best friend, he lost all kind of interest, but he didn't want Wonho to know how dependant he was of him, so he acted like he was entirely enthusiastic to share a room with a complete stranger, that he read, went by the name of Lee Minhyuk.

* * *

"Wonho." Kihyun called for the third time, all he got was a little sound, not even a look, not his complete attention, as he was used to have. It annoyed him, he didn't really know why, but it did. "Wonho, can you please pay attention to me?"

"Yes, in a second, i'm just answering some textsShownu sent me." He typed quickly and locked his phone, to put it away and put his gaze in the younger man. "Are you alright?"

Kihyun sighed. "No, I had an awful week and I'm stressed and i just... I miss home," at some point his eyes started to water, without him noticing until he felt Wonho's hands in his cheeks.

"Hey, hey. It's okay, you know you don't have to go through this alone, right?" Kihyun just nodded his head, not really trusting his voice. It wasn't just that what bothered him. All of his feelings were all over the place and he couldn't put his finger on why, his classes were stressing him to the point that he didn't know with what to start. He just wanted to go back to the time where he could just run to his friend's arms without any worry, but he knew he couldn't do it now. Both of them were busy, both of them had more friends to be aroud with. Wonho had better people to be with.

"Do you want to cuddle? Like the old times." Wonho's question took Kihyun off guard, but he couldn't refuse to be under his **_best friend's arms_** , the only place he has truly felt protected, without any worry in the world, where it was just him an Wonho. Them against the world.

 At some point of the cuddling session, Kihyun fell asleep, so Wonho took his phone out and [texted](http://joheoonie.tumblr.com/post/174965862587)Shownu again.


	5. 五

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When you love someone ㅡ Day6.

**_"_** How does it feel to be loved?" Kihyun asked randomly, in the middle of a movie marathon making Wonho stop the movie.

"What do you mean?" Was all the reply Kihyun got. "You heard me."

Wonho hearing the answer rolled his eyes, "What do you mean with being loved. Being loved romantically, platonically... brotherly?"

"Romantically. How does it feels to be loved romantically. What does it feel to know another person loves you completely and entirely for being you, with your flaws and your quirks. Love you for you."

Wonho stayed quiet for a few seconds, almost a minute. He didn't quite know how to answer that since he couldn't remember if he ever felt that kind of affection by another person. "I... I don't really know, but I can describe how it feels to love another one like that."

"Do me the honors please. I want to know how amazing it must be to have someone like you loving them."  _ **If only you knew.**_

 _** “It was a really hard day today ** _  
_**My heart aches for you** _  
_**The only thing I can do for you** _  
_**Is to be next to you. ”** _

"After a long hard day all you want to do is be next to them." When Wonho started his explanation, Kihyun's curious eyes set still on Wonho's neutral face. He was recalling all of the times where teachers would call him out for fighting kids that bullied Kihyun. Or the times where he would feel real self-conscious for his body or his dream career. Or when he thought he couldn't get into the university he wanted. He thought how all of those times when he was feeling helpless being by Kihyun's side would be the only thing he needed for him to cheer up. "It's like... they have a spell on you. Even if you feel like nothing could help you, just hearing their voice is a spark of light."

"That sounds so cheesy." Kihyun commented with a little laugh, "keep going."

**_“You’re so pretty when you smile_**   
**_So every time you lose that smile_ **   
**_Even if I have to give my all_ **   
**_I want to give it back to you. ”_ **

"Their smile... god, their smile is the most precious thing you will ever see. And when they laugh, you only want them to keep laughing, because is the best sound to ever exist; you will do anything to make them laugh." Wonho looked in Kihyun's direction and he noticed how lost in space his friend was. How deep in thought he seemed to be, like he was analyzing everything he was told recently. Like he was discovering a whole new world.

And Wonho hoped. He hoped he was the reason why Kihyun was lost in thought. He hoped Kihyun would tell him he understood all of the things he described because of him.

 "Can you please keep going?" Kihyun said suddenly, making Wonho let out a tiny sigh. "As i was saying, you make your top priority to protect their smile, you give everything you have to make them smile. And when it's gone it's like... your heart was ripped out of your chest. Like something was missing." At that point the younger male could only nod, processing everhthing his friend was describing.

 _** “I want to cry for you ** _  
_** I want to hurt instead of you **_  
_** I don’t want any scars in your heart **_  
_** Ever again.** **” **_

"When that person is sad," Wonho continued "you would do anything to cheer them up. You want to make all of their pain your own so they don't have to go through that. You want to be the one suffering instead of them." He recalled all those times where his friend was suffering, all those times he had to be the one to comfort the younger male, all those times he wished to be the one going through all of the things Kihyun was put through. How he wanted to just make all of the people who made his loved one suffer so he didn't have to feel so much pain.

"Does it hurt," Kihyun suddenly asked "does it hurt to see them cry?"

"A hell lot."

 _**“ I hope I can be a little helpful at least** _  
_**I hope I can be your resting place** _  
_**I’ll try to make you feel at peace** _  
_**Whenever you think of me during your busy days. ”** _

"When you love someone... do you ever feel like, you want to be the reason they're at peace?"

"That's an odd one." Wonho let out a breathy laugh. "But yes, you want to be at least a reason why they feel a tiny bit of happiness, a bit of peacefulness in a hard day."

"Oh, I get it."

 **_“ When you love someone_ **  
**_So much that it overflows_ **  
**_It’s so amazing_ **  
**_Because this is how it is. ”_ **

"It sounds amazing." Wonho looked at his friend a bit curiously. "To love someone like that"

"It is." He agreed. "It is amazing to have someone you expect to see everyday."

"Thanks for sharing your experience with me." Kihyun said. "I appreciate it and i hope to meet this person that has you lovestruck like this."

"I think you actually know this person." Wonho murmured hoping it didn't reach his friend's ears. But it did, of course it reached his friend's ears.

"But you have to indtroduce us. I want to meet this person." How could he be so oblivious.

"Alright, alright i'll introduce you someday." _If_   _only you knew_. "It's been too much about me. Now answer me, why are you so curious about this topic?" Wonho looked at his friend in a teasing way.

"I'm just... trying to figure something out." Was all he got as a reply, but of course he couldn't let it be like that. He wanted to know who was making feel his friend like that.

"Care to explain more?"

"I think... I think I might be in love." For the first time in years Wonho heard Kihyun talk so quietly when it was just the both of them, it was uncommon for them.

"Oh?" Wonho's hopes went up as a rocket. "And who it might be?"

"Lee Minhyuk."


End file.
